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Phil is upset that Claire is stifling his creativity, Mitchell doesn't believe Cameron's "punkin chunkin" story, Gloria won't let Jay tell Manny that his Thanksgiving centerpiece is horrible, and Claire and Alex get in an accident. Phil proposes that the entire family celebrate "Express Christmas" together on December 16, when they discover that they won't be spending Christmas Day together. After having a doctor's visit but then missing the call with the test results, Phil automatically jumps to conclusions and starts saying his goodbyes.
Meanwhile Javier pops up unannounced again and takes Manny to the horse races for a belated birthday celebration, and a subtle competition ensues when Mitchell brings home an environmental law award and it becomes a game of who has the bigger trophy. While Jay and Claire become hyper-competitive while working on their boys' science project, Gloria tries to help Phil with his real estate seminar. Meanwhile, Cameron and Mitchell interview a potential birth mother.
Claire's family tries to help her prepare for her political debate, Lily begins saying the "F word" right before her appearance as a flower girl at a wedding, and Jay begins to wonder if his dog Stella is suicidal. Claire thinks Phil's prospective new client is hitting on her, tensions rise as Mitchell and Cameron temporarily stay with Jay and Gloria, and Alex becomes jealous when Hayley volunteers as a Big Sister.
Alex accidentally reveals a secret about Haley to their dad, Cameron fakes a back injury to catch Claire in a lie, Mitchell confesses a secret about one of Jay's proudest moments, and Luke helps Manny try to impress a girl. Claire, Hayley, and Alex's cycles ruin Phil's big Leap Day plans, Mitchell tries to throw an elaborate party for Cameron's "tenth" birthday, and Gloria wants Jay to get in a fight.
It's Claire's election day, and the entire family tries in vain to pitch in to help her win the vote. Meanwhile, Haley anxiously awaits her final chance to get accepted into a college. Phil makes an impulsive car purchase and wonders how Claire will react, Jay struggles to get himself and his family to a weekend with the guys at Pebble Beach, and Mitchell and Cameron lose Lily's stuffed bunny on the subway. Jay and Manny are left to accompany Lily at her recital as Mitchell and Cameron bring Gloria along as translator as they adopt a Mexican child.
Meanwhile, Haley has a surprise announcement about her plans after high school. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron debate getting Lily a cat after she loses out on getting a baby brother. Phil and Claire get emotional as they send Haley off to school, Manny makes Jay and Gloria take a parenting class, and Mitchell and Cameron clash with lesbian parents from Lily's school. Claire has problems with the kids as Phil prepares to get a vasectomy, Gloria refuses to wear maternity clothes, and Mitchell encourages Cameron to get a job.
Phil is upset that Luke wants to give up magic, Jay tries to get away from Gloria's snoring, Mitchell does errands as Cameron starts his new job as music teacher, and Alex suddenly becomes more sarcastic. Claire tries to scare Phil on Halloween night, Cameron tries to show off his new slimmer body at his Halloween party, and Mitchell's white lie about Lily's mother gets him in trouble.
A yard sale at Jay's house reveals a secret in Gloria's past, Phil's wild side when he tries Jay's old motorcycle, and concern that Alex's new boyfriend might be gay. When Haley is arrested for underage drinking, Phil, Claire, and Mitchell must intervene, leaving Cameron in charge of the kids. Jay's ex-wife, DeDe, makes a surprise visit, and he desperately tries to hide Gloria's pregnancy from her. When Claire takes Manny and Luke along to Alex's academic decathlon for the weekend, Phil attempts to throw together a boys' night at the house, inviting a fellow Bulldog alum he just met -- but their wires are definitely crossed.
Meanwhile, the pressure is on for Alex at the decathlon, Manny and Luke bar mitzvah hop at the hotel trying to find a cute girl, and Cam and Mitch arrange for quite the surprise baby gift for Jay and Gloria. Mitchell is dragged into Cameron's quest to save an old tree, Jay and Manny have to compete at a kid's party, and Gloria and Claire go on the shopping trip from hell.
Gloria buys a microphone so she can sing to her unborn baby. Claire and Cameron try to renovate a baseball field so Luke's and Manny's baseball team has a place to play. Jay and Gloria throw a surprise birthday party for Manny, but their unborn baby may have other plans. Meanwhile, Haley dates a man twice her age, and Cameron becomes jealous of Mitchell' and Lily. Phil and Claire's Valentine's plans land Claire in the emergency room, Jay and Gloria try to be intimate for the first time after the baby, and Mitchell has a wild Valentine's night after drinking and blacking out at his party.
Claire runs into an old lover at her college reunion, a mishap causes Cam to give the baby a disastrous haircut, and Jay has to put his bowling match on hold to build up Manny's confidence. Mitchell and Cameron are co-best men for a friend's wedding, but the bride has cold feet. Meanwhile, Manny has a crush on the nanny, Phil helps Luke get a date, and Claire and Haley go together to Alex's concert. Claire and Cam clash over a fountain as they try to flip a house, Mitchell confronts a playground bully, Jay spends the day alone with Joe, and Phil tries to teach the girls about home repairs.
When Phil takes Claire to the hospital for her angiogram, they encounter a family that is basically their future selves, and they're not sure they like what they see. Manny drags Jay on a visit to a prospective private school, and Mitch and Cam organize a fun "girls day" for Gloria and Lily -- but it becomes a spontaneous "cultural day" instead.
Phil is pretty confident in his ability to sell Claire and Cam's flipped house, but when it proves to be a little harder than he thought, he recruits the whole family into taking some desperate, borderline crazy measures. Meanwhile, Javier is visiting Manny and brings along his new girlfriend, which doesn't sit very well with Gloria. Phil's rival, Gil Thorpe, offers Claire a job, Lily gets a extra-generous gift from the Tooth Fairy, and Jay decides to begin working on his novel.
Cam is jealous of Mitchell's ex-boyfriend, Claire tries to avoid her dad's job offer, Manny has to write an essay about his hero, Phil tries to teach Gloria to skate, and Hayley tries to help Alex flirt with boys. The Dunphys take an RV trip together, Mitchell and Cam become over-competitive at Lily's gymnastics meet, and Jay and Gloria are upset that they weren't invited to a party. The family goes to Florida for Phil's mother's funeral. Phil has to honor his mom's odd last request, Jay sees a familiar face, Mitchell defends Gloria in court, and Cameron makes some new friends.
Cam's sister comes to town with good news, Phil and Claire agree to skip Luke's soccer game, Gloria refuses to admit she needs glasses, and Alex thinks Jay is cheating at Words With Friends. Jay and Manny object to Gloria hiring a male nanny to look after Joseph.
Mitchell and Cameron ask Pepper Saltzman to help plan their wedding. At a local fair, Phil tries to surprise Claire with an anniversary gift, Jay works as a "police officer," Manny enters a cake baking contest, Luke confronts a crush, and Cameron tries to rally the football team. With some urging from Claire, Jay begrudgingly agrees to return to ClosetCon this year, and things get interesting when Jay is reunited with some old colleagues. Cam takes Mitch and Lily to the Tucker family farm for the first time and is excited to fold them into country life, that is until Grams pays an unexpected visit.
And back at home, Phil, Gloria and the kids get into some mischief involving Jay's very delicate Apollo 13 spacecraft model. With a big football game coming up and a record to break, Coach Cam is intensely focused and showing no mercy even when the opposing team is playing with an unexpected disadvantage. Elsewhere, Claire is determined to prove to the staff that she is more than just the boss's daughter, and Phil tries to teach his kids a lesson about optimism, but the universe just isn't cooperating.
Jay takes Manny out to cut down their own Christmas tree, and Gloria is on edge with mom in town, but changes her tune when she sees her bonding with Claire. Elsewhere, Mitchell is forced to do last minute shopping when they didn't get Lily the right gift, and Cameron takes Lily to a charity event where they experience the true meaning of Christmas.
Phil tricks Luke into taking a dance class, but the joke is on him when the white lie indirectly lands him in the slammer. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria throw a birthday party for Manny and Joe but are worried that Manny might be hitting on girls who are way out of his league.
And Mitch and Cam are having more problems with planning their wedding when they get a rude awakening in the cutthroat world of booking a wedding venue. Alex and Haley figure out looks secret. Phil and Claire take Haley out to dinner to discuss her future, but Haley manages to turn the tables. Elsewhere, Jay's friend Shorty and wife Darlene are back visiting, and they have some news that doesn't sit well with Jay.
And, Mitch and Cam decide to have a nice, romantic dinner date where they don't talk about the wedding or about Lily, which then leads to a lot of awkward silences. Claire and Phil decide to spy on Luke and Manny as they're hanging out with one of their more questionable friends. Meanwhile, Gloria is furious with Jay because she thinks he had a dream about another woman, but Jay misunderstands her anger for another offense he committed.
And, Cam secretly uses Mitch as a scapegoat to get out of attending a party, while Haley tries to keep her photography exhibit a secret from her family. Phil is upset to have lost his elected office of social chair to his nemesis Gil Thorpe, and when he finds out Luke is competing against Gil's kid in a wrestling match, it becomes his own personal battle. Claire is nervous for a big client meeting but things get extra hairy when Mitch and Cam ask her to pick up Lily from school and conveniently leave out the fact that her class just had a lice scare.
Elsewhere, Gloria chaperones Manny's school field trip to the museum. Cameron is in charge of the school's big spring dance, but when a popular teacher returns from sabbatical, a bit of not-so-friendly competition blooms. And with Claire on chaperone duty at the dance, Phil gets Haley to accompany him to his annual realtor's banquet and is looking forward to impressing his little girl.
Elsewhere, Mitch starts a new job and can't seem to get a good read on the new boss or the work environment. Jay and Gloria babysit Lily and an accident with Gloria's purse ignites a case of whodunit and it's Lily's word against baby Joe's.
It's male-bonding day when Jay takes Luke into the garage to show him the way around tools and impart some manly wisdom, and Gloria goes with Claire and Lily to shop for Lily's flower girl dress. Elsewhere, Mitch, Cam, Alex and Manny go for a cultured day at the museum but it eventually becomes survival of the smartest.
And Phil enthusiastically offers to help Andy with his anniversary gift to his girlfriend. On a trip to Las Vegas, Jay wheels and deals to get a better room, Claire tries to win back the money she lost last year, Phil tries to get into a magician's club, and Cameron chooses a bachelor party over a spa day with Mitchell.
Jay's plans to host a family evening are derailed when Phil gets in trouble trying to sell Gloria's old apartment and Mitchell doesn't approve of the wedding topper Cameron's father made. The family joins Phil in Australia as he fulfills his late mother's wishes to discover where his parents had their honeymoon. Phil has to tell an elaborate lie to Claire when he messes up a household task. Gloria is put in charge of the family portrait, and Jay enters Stella in a dog show.
Mitchell and Cameron have to sell a few prized possessions to afford their wedding. Phil and Claire are the victims of a practical joke pulled off by their kids. Mitchell and Cameron's wedding day has arrived, but Pepper Saltzman has to solve a slew of problems. Gloria takes Jay to task over his appearance. The Dunphys must ready themselves for the return to school. Phil, Luke, and Haley cause nothing but aggravation for Alex when they tag along on her tour of Caltech. Jay and Gloria have trouble finding the perfect gifts for their anniversary.
The Dunphys are down with a cold, thanks to Phil. Jay and Gloria try to help Manny deal with playing football, and Cameron doesn't know how much playtime to give him. Mitchell debates with Lily's new friend, Sydney. The Dunphys move into a cramped hotel room while their house is getting treated for mold and Phil sees this as an opportunity to spend some quality time together but Claire and the kids are less than enthused.
Gloria becomes over protective when Manny starts dating an older, popular girl, and Cameron is under a lot of pressure to maintain his team's winning streak but when he realizes Mitchell may be a jinx, emotions run high. Phil is selling the house next door and he and Claire are excited by the prospect of having wonderful new neighbors, but that quickly turns into panic when a loud and obnoxious couple come to look at the house.
Jay forbids Manny to see his new girlfriend when he realizes she's the granddaughter of his biggest business rival, leading to a clash of the closet titans. Elsewhere, Mitch and Cam are determined to switch Lily out of Mrs. Plank's class since she is known to rule with an iron fist - not to mention she scares them too. Phil takes over Halloween decorating duties from Claire. Jay is upset when he wants to dress up as Prince Charming but Gloria buys him a Shrek costume.
Mitchell has a problem in court with the stenographer working in a scary costume. Phil and Luke take over Thanksgiving duties but Claire readies an emergency plan. Jay and Gloria get their holiday plans interrupted and regret not telling anyone.
Cameron has to think of a way to get Lily to wear a dress for dinner. Jay and Gloria try to get out of parties they must attend. Mitchell's kind gesture to a co-worker backfires on him, and Phil and Claire think Alex is lying when she tells them she found a boyfriend. Haley celebrates her 21st birthday, but will anything go wrong? While driving out to get breakfast, the Dunphys including Manny have a near death experience causing everyone to reevaluate their lives.
Claire resolves to be more fun and less uptight, Haley and Alex agree not to fight anymore, Manny refuses to ever ride in a car again, Luke wants to check off his bucket list, Phil decides to be a take action type of guy and the rest of the family has to bear the brunt of all the new attitudes. Claire is furious about neighbors Ronnie and Amber's eye-sore of a boat on their front lawn and it soon becomes an all-out war when Phil calls in the "big guns" as back up - his dad Frank and all his retired friends to give them a taste of their own medicine.
Elsewhere, Jay is trying to potty train Joe but Gloria does not think he's ready yet, and Cam secretly takes Lily to clown school behind Mitchell's back. When Phil thinks Luke is giving him the cold shoulder. Andy becomes Phil's new right-hand man. Clair freaks out on valentine's day and everyone is upset and worried. So they throw Claire a happy valentine's day party to cheer her up. Jay shows Manny how to defend himself whilst Mitch and Cam decide to throw Sal a belated baby shower.
Claire is stuck at an airport and trying to digitally track down Haley after an argument. Jay and Claire scramble to shoot a commercial in response, but there might be some creative differences between father and daughter. A peeping-Tom in the neighborhood keeps using a drone to spy on Gloria. The family heads out on their yearly vacation. Jay's birthday brings everyone together and Phil is beside himself over the super cool gift he got Jay, a high-tech outdoor grill.
Claire and Mitch decide they will "offer" to pay back the money Jay loaned them ages ago as their gift not really thinking he will take them up on it, and Gloria teaches Manny and Luke a lesson about drinking, while Andy gets real awkward with Haley when she brings over her new doctor boyfriend. Jay agrees to sub in on Cam's bowling team, not knowing it's an all-gay league. While making errands, Phil and Jay have a bad time, because of their wives. Claire attempts to give Luke a reward and Gloria teaches Haley how to stand up at work.
Joe is watched by Mitch and Cam. As Alex competes in order to obtain her valedictorian title, Gloria studies into becoming an American citizen and Mitch and Cam protest against a local restaurant. As Gloria tries to ruin Manny's sentimental life, Claire doubts about her professional career and Alex skips day.
As Alex finally graduates from high school, Phil uses Skype because he stuck in Seattle. Mitchell loses his job and Claire has to find the perfect gift for Alex while Andy is caught between Haley and Beth. Phil and Claire are feeling a little snubbed by their kids when Alex intentionally gives them the wrong college move in date to avoid making it a big deal, and Luke seems less than eager to spend the day with Phil at his open house and would rather go hang out with some guys from school.
Elsewhere, the rest of the family concoct an elaborate story to get out of going to Lily's soccer game which only adds to the stress Mitch and Cam are feeling now that they've added landlords to their resume after deciding to rent out the top unit for temporary stays. Being the cool dad that he is, Phil helps Haley convince Claire to allow Dylan to move in temporarily, but after seeing how intimate living together means, Phil is having major second thoughts.
Mitch takes on a much needed consulting job that just so happens to be for Jay's biggest rival - Closets, Closets, Closets, Closets! Phil builds a habitat for the duck eggs and convinces Lily to help him hatch them; Claire is anxious about telling Jay her ideas for closets; Gloria and Manny assist each other with their "crushes"; Cam bonds with frat guys.
Gloria has to participate in a jury duty while Jay struggles in order to put Joe in a good preschool. Phil tags along with Manny and Luke's class for a community service day, while 'Take your daughter to work day' allows Claire to introduce her daughters to the professional world. Mitch and Cam both want to invite their respective friends to a party and ask Gloria for help.
Phil gets mad at Clair for ignoring his requests to paint the house a bright vibrant color and in retaliation decides to run for city council. After a conversation about the sexy and sleek house that Phil is helping Mitch and Cam's friend sell, everyone gets the same bright idea to sneak in there and have a little "fun. Gloria won a bid at the school auction for a family seminar with famed doctor and author Debra Radcliffe, whose self-help book 'Clean Out Your Junk Drawer' encourages people get out all their emotional junk to become healthier people.
In hopes of the perfect white Christmas she never had in Colombia, Gloria rents a cabin in the mountains for the whole family, including Andy, to celebrate the Christmas holiday. Claire and Phil have dinner plans with this great couple they met on vacation; the only problem is they never pick up the bill, so Claire insists Phil be strong this time and pick up the bill and make them pay.
Gloria organises a playdate with a couple that appears to have a lot in common with them- they also have a young son Joe's age, but the husband is in his eighties and Jay takes it personally. Elsewhere Haley, Alex and Luke are surprised when Uncle Mitchell comes over to cash in on the birthday coupon they gave him for a belated present. Sick of having the ducklings around the house, Claire and the kids seize an opportunity to help expedite the ducks leaving the nest while Phil is off visiting Alex at college.
Meanwhile, Jay helps Mitch with Lily's sleepover with her friends from her Vietnamese dance troupe; and Gloria and Cam are off on a hot pepper heist carefully orchestrated by Manny in order to meet a big hot sauce delivery deadline. Before Claire officially takes over Jay's closet business, she decides she must get the house in order and make the family clean out the clutter; unfortunately, Phil and Luke can't bear to part with anything, and Alex digs up old feelings when she finds Sanjay's sweatshirt.
Newly into retirement, Jay decides to get a new hobby - piloting a plane - but the danger puts Cameron into a tailspin of worry. And elsewhere, Gloria wants to connect with Jay more and decides to pick up his favorite game of golf, and ropes Mitchell into teaching her. In preparation for taking over Jay's business Claire engages the family in a cleaning spree. Jay picks up a new hobby and whisks Cam along to help out, and Gloria asks Mitchell to teach her golf so that she can share more of Jay's pastimes.
A huge thunder storm brings wide power outages and the whole family congregates at Jay and Gloria's to use their generator, but Jay has one foot out the door desperately trying to make it to a reunion with some old Navy buddies. Meanwhile, Phil tries to be the hero and redeem himself after a very embarrassing public panic attack earlier, but only causes more headaches for everyone.
Mitchell and Cameron grasp at straws trying to salvage Lily's birthday party where the most popular girl at school is in attendance, and Haley turns up the seduction efforts with Andy. Claire is seamlessly balancing her family life with her new work ethic, and while the kids are loving it Phil struggles to understand how she's achieving this.
Meanwhile, Gloria and Jay cut corners behind each other's backs so they can have a break from a needy Joe, while Cameron and Mitchell are treated strangely at their friends' wedding and have to try and work out who they have offended and how. Phil has a new client who happens to be "his type," Meanwhile, Gloria suspects her yoga instructor has the hots for her and asks Claire to come with her to class, but the instructor ends up giving Claire a lot of inappropriate attention.
Phil has the crazy idea of going on a spontaneous trip to Paris with Claire; the only problem is that they are both so ridiculously tired but try to push through it. Manny and Luke are in charge of babysitting Lily so that the adults can enjoy a day to themselves. Claire and Gloria have a lovely trip to the spa planned; Phil and Mitch nerd out in the movies; Jay and Cam go to a sports bar to watch the big fight.
Things started going awry though when the fire alarm goes off back at the house, Claire is convinced the boys are secretly throwing a party. When Claire hides a stray dog she's taken in from Phil he starts to suspect her unusual behaviour. Also, Gloria invites a new couple over and Jay begrudgingly enjoys their company, and Cameron rents out the upstairs apartment to a rockband.
With Closet-Con right around the corner, Claire is on high alert and convinced there is a mole in the company. Meanwhile, Phil goes vigilante when he and Gloria confront Auntie Alice for stealing her hot sauce recipe. Jay tries to teach Joe how to do some manly handy work, and with prom coming up, Mitch helps Luke with his "promposal" while Cam helps with Manny's, but Cam goes a little overboard, revealing that there maybe something deeper going on.
Dede is getting remarried, and Manny convinces the family to take the train up to the wedding. Jay could not be more ecstatic that Dede has moved on for good but his overenthusiasm might come back and bite him later. Claire and Mitchell work on their toast while Phil and Cam geek out over their favorite author, who is also on the train. Luke and Manny go a little girl crazy; Gloria gets stuck in coach; and Alex gets caught up in the romance of the train herself. Jay refuses to accept that it might be harder to reenter the workforce than he thought, and Cameron and Mitch butt heads on how to share time with Lily now that Cameron took a summer job in Kansas City.
Jay does not want to give the new family moving in across the street the wrong impression and goes out of his way to make sure they know he is the best kind of neighbor, while Manny decides that the best way to an attractive and radical-thinking teenage girl's heart is through his actions. Meanwhile, at the Pritchett house, the entire family is using Alex's recent bout of mono to their advantage.
Finally, Cam and Mitchell have always felt they were the most open, non-judgmental and supportive parents. However, when they overhear Lily insulting her new friend, they have to take a quick look in the mirror before they teach her a lesson about acceptance.
The outcome of this election is even more important to Jay, Gloria and Claire, who prove to be dubious campaign managers. Meanwhile, Cam finds out his star football player is moving away and makes a rash decision that is going to make home life a little cramped for Mitch and Cam. Phil made one little mistake; he introduced him to Hayley. In the Tucker-Pritchett home, Lily is over their new houseguest and decides to take matters into her own hands.
Meanwhile at the Tucker-Pritchett home, Cam faces off with his Halloween nemesis while Lily and Mitchell try to save the day and work to keep him from going to the darkside. Finally, when Jay finds out that Manny is going to a party at the home of an old enemy, he enlists him to deliver a trick he will never forget.
While Phil tries to get used to Rainer Shine dating his daughter, Hayley has to break it to her dad that she would rather spend the rest of her holiday with her new boyfriend than stay for the traditional family football game. Meanwhile, Haley and Alex discuss whether they should dump their boyfriends. Jay makes a decision about the future of his business. Alex makes a new friend. Haley and Andy continue to fool around in secret.
Jay is uncomfortable with the father of Joe's new play date. Claire asks Phil to not pick up the bill at lunch. Cam helps Lily with a new crush. Gloria and Cam have to steal some peppers to fill their sauce recipe. Jay helps Mitchell with Lily's sleepover. While Jay sneaks off for flying lessons with Cameron, Mitchell tries to help Gloria learn how to play golf. Gloria's provocative sauce ad gets Jay jealous. Mitch and Cam rent the apartment above their own, but end up spying on their guests.
Jay, Gloria and Manny each try to keep an embarrassing secret from each other. Mitch and Cam try to find out why they've been blacklisted at gay weddings. Claire and Gloria have a lovely trip to the spa planned; Phil and Mitch nerd out at the movies; and Jay and Cam go to a sports bar to watch the big fight. Things start going awry though when the fire alarm goes off back at the house, and Claire is convinced the boys are secretly throwing a party.
Unfortunately, her evasive behavior only makes Phil try even harder to shower her with more attention. And Cameron rents out their upstairs apartment to a Christian rock band.
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